Domesticity
by l03l
Summary: Castle and Beckett navigate the craziness that is family life with three kids. A collection of non-chronological one-shots set in the "A Time For Family" universe.
1. Chapter 1

**DOMESTICITY**

**1.**

* * *

She really _really_ hates him.

After all of the vows and declarations, _always_ being thrown around like it meant everything, she never expected this of him.

He _knows_ she hates grocery shopping.

Knows it drives her absolutely insane, and yet less than half an hour ago, right before they were about to leave for a much needed restock of the fridge – she had been putting it off for days – he remembered a meeting he had at Black Pawn, one he'd already rescheduled four times. What was she supposed to say? No?

So here she is, standing in the middle of a grocery store, trying to corral three kids who absolutely refuse to listen to her.

Well, two kids.

James stands beside her, his back straight as always, quiet and listening to her every instruction.

It's moments like these where she finds it easy to make the supposedly impossibly choice of her favourite child.

She's one tantrum away from leaving the other two in the store, and it may not be one of the kids that throw it.

Lucy won't stay with the cart, flitting off ahead of them, returning every other minute with items they have absolutely no need for and then throwing a fit when she hears _no_.

Kate gave up on trying to keep the girl in her sights back in aisle one, because she knows that while disobedient, Lucy doesn't stray far and she's smart enough not to talk to strangers.

Noah is the one she has to keep an eagle eye on. He has a habit of making a run for it when given even the slightest opportunity, which means every time she glances at the shopping list or the shelves, she has to abandon the shopping cart to chase him down and pick him up.

He refuses to simply sit in the seat in the shopping cart, standing and leaning and _falling_ if she's not careful, and after a few minutes of being held he whines and complains, so she puts him down with strict instructions to _stay by mommy and James_, but he always ends up breaking his promises, distracted by something or someone, and running off.

She likes blaming the Castle DNA in him for his inability to focus, but she knows she's at least partly at fault – she never was one for standing still very long.

"Don't we need pasta, mom?" James inquires, tugging her sleeve to point towards the array of pasta on display, and she could kiss him, checking pasta off the list.

"We do, thanks James, I almost forgot."

Sometimes she doesn't know where sweet, obedient James came from, but she's not complaining.

"Spirals?" He asks, eyes hopeful, and she sees that he's trying to use his helpfulness to get her to choose the kind he likes over the spaghetti that his siblings prefer, but she nods, letting him grab the box from the shelf.

Lucy and Noah wouldn't ask so politely, they'd simply throw the spaghetti into the cart or throw a fit, and she sees no problem with rewarding her eldest son's manners. But she sighs on second thought, knowing that they just won't cut it for Lucy and Noah.

"Why don't you grab some spaghetti as well?"

He does so dutifully, and she's busy marvelling over his maturity when she realises that she can no longer see Noah.

She curses under her breath, leaving the cart and instructing James to follow as she makes a mad dash to the end of the aisle and peeks down the next one, only to find it empty.

_Dammit_.

"Noah?" She calls sternly, trying not to let fear creep into her voice because logically, he couldn't have made it far. She looks down the next aisle to see her four year old barefoot (when did that happen?) and looking up at a stranger.

"Noah!" She yells, petrified, because she has warned him not to do this _so_ many times.

"I take it he belongs to you?" The man asks, his tone friendly, but she's still on edge. Her youngest son is all Castle, making friends wherever he goes, unable to quite grasp the fact that he can't just approach people he doesn't know.

But then the man turns around, and the fear becomes something different entirely.

"Josh?"

She's in shock, because standing before her is a man from another life.

His hair is shorter, there are lines around his eyes that weren't present when she knew him, but he's easily recognisable.

"Kate," he smiles. "Wow."

"Mm," she manages to murmur, trying to find her words when she sees Noah looking up at her guiltily, and that snaps her back into action.

"You can't do that, Noah," she reprimands, still shaken, grabbing his arm and pulling him back to her side. "You have to stop running off on me."

She tries not to think about how he never hatches these escape plans when Castle's around. Oh, no. They're reserved just for her.

"Mommy!"

She turns around desperately, because Lucy only calls her that when she's afraid, and she sees the girl running from the other end of the aisle, flinging her little body at her legs.

"I couldn't find you!" She moans dramatically, and Kate murmurs reassuringly to her daughter, before turning to Josh.

God, what a picture.

He's enjoying it, too, there's a little smirk playing across his lips, and she wants to smack it right off his face, but she's reminded by the three sets of little eyes staring up at her that she doesn't know him that well, not anymore.

"Mom, who's he?" Lucy asks, absolutely no tact, and she sighs, introducing Josh by his name alone.

"You look happy, Kate," he says, and she almost laughs.

She doesn't feel happy – not right now. Right now she feels like one of those mothers she swore she'd never be, all harried and desperate and unable to control her kids.

"How is Castle?" He inquires, a knowing look on his face, and she narrows her eyes at his assumption before he gestures to Noah, and she laughs.

Yeah, there's really no denying his paternity.

He is a miniature version of his father, and she can't fault Josh for recognising it.

"He's great," she responds, put at ease by his easy-going nature.

"How are you?"

"I'm good," he says. "Actually just got back from Africa."

She nods, pleased for him, because she knows that they never would have made it work – not with the two of them wanting such different things so fiercely, so unwilling to compromise.

That, and the fact that she was undeniably in love with Castle, even then, and she thinks maybe Josh knew that all along.

"Africa with lions?" Noah inquires, and Josh laughs.

"Yeah, lots of lions, elephants too," he says, and that seems to captivate all her children, but given that they've already wasted over an hour in this hellish place and barely made a dint in the shopping list, she knows they don't have time to continue this conversation.

"Noah what did you do with your shoes?" She interrupts, staring him down, and he ducks his head.

"Noah," she warns, and he scurries off to the previous aisle, returning with his shoes and she rolls her eyes. "C'mon we have to go," she warns him, looking to Josh for the last time.

"It was nice to see you," she says, politely, and he nods.

"You too."

At that, she grabs Noah and Lucy's hands, trusting James to trail along beside them, and returns to the cart.

"Okay, guys, lets finish this up quickly," she says, her tone leaving no room for argument, something that Lucy and James recognise, but Noah still looks like he might make a break for it.

She pulls him into her arms, balancing her (_heavy_) baby boy on one hip and glancing at the grocery list, newly invigorated at the sight of each of her kids looking like they might actually listen to her – for now, at least.

She knows anything more would be too much to ask for, but God help her, she wouldn't trade this life for anything.

* * *

**A/N: **

**I'd love to hear what you think! **

**Also, feel free to leave prompts in the reviews – I can't guarantee that I'll be able to fill them but I'll be sure to let you know if and why I can't (provided you're logged on and I can respond).**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**DOMESTICITY**

**2.**

**A/N: **

**Warning: deals with bullying.**

* * *

"Don't make me go back. Please, mommy."

It's the _mommy_ that does her in.

She hasn't heard it in years – not since Noah decided he was too old for it – and it breaks her heart to hear the word from James' mouth in such a desperate plea.

She knows school isn't easy for him.

Not in the way it is for Lucy, their little social butterfly.

No, for James it's different.

But he's a tough kid, even if he's shy and quiet most of the time, and he doesn't complain, doesn't dig his heels in unless he really can't handle something.

"What happened?" She asks her eldest son, who at nine years old is all thin, gangly limbs, but she still manages to fit him in her lap.

"I don't want to go back," he says, resolute, and she watches her own stubborn determination reflect in her son.

Usually he's the easy going one, willing to let things go, but not this time.

"James?" She prompts, and he knows she needs a reason, knows she's not going to let him get away with this without an explanation, so he gives in with a huff.

"I hate it there," he confesses, his face contorting as he tries to hold back tears. Her heart lurches, and she holds him tighter.

"It's okay," she soothes, rubbing his back like she did when he was younger.

"It's not!" He disagrees vehemently. "It's awful, they hate me."

The way he speaks, the way the words come out as if they're mere facts cause tears spring to her eyes, tears she has to force away.

James has never been one to make friends easily, and while she knows this, he has always had them.

He's always been able to find a friend or two, even if it took a while for the friendship to form.

"What about Luke?" She inquires, the boy having been a regular fixture in their house for the past three years, as James' best friend.

"Luke is stupid," he says, looking away as he says the words, knowing what her reaction will be.

"James," she warns, and he explodes.

"What? He is," he insists, pulling away from her, and falling onto his bed, his face buried in the pillow as she hears him sob.

"James," she begs, trying desperately not to let her own tears fall.

She's never seen him like this, never seen him so upset, and she slowly brushes his hair away from his face, wiping stray tears away.

"Please, baby," she begs, feeling utterly helpless, and when he sits up, he reaches into his backpack, producing his copy of Treasure Island, the book now unrecognisable.

The cover has been ripped off, and the pages are torn and dirty, and he's looking at her, distraught.

"Luke says I'm a loser and he hates me," James presses out, unable to look at the remnants of the book in her hands.

"Luke did this?" She verifies, putting the book on the floor and out of James' sight, and he nods, sniffing.

"He hates me. I have no one," he whispers, and she pulls him close, hating that the words are coming from his mouth. Her beautiful baby boy, who is smart, and kind and so underappreciated by his peers.

"You're not a loser," she says, pressing a kiss to his head. "You're amazing, James. You're so kind, and brilliant, and they're idiots."

He doesn't respond, but she feels in the rigidness of his posture that he doesn't believe her, and she wipes at the wetness on her own cheeks with the back of her hand.

"You're perfect," she insists, words he's heard countless times from her and his father, but he just shrugs, petulant.

"I don't want dinner," he says, referencing her reason for climbing the stairs and interrupting his homework time in the first place. "They'll be waiting for you," he states, and with a glance at her watch she knows it's true.

He gets up and sits at his desk, ignoring her, and she knows he's waiting for her to leave but she pushes the limit anyway, pressing a kiss to his cheek and hugging him tightly one more time.

"I love you," she says, insistent, and he turns to her, forever her polite little boy.

"I love you too."

* * *

"What's wrong?"

Castle's the first to notice that something isn't right when she descends the stairs alone, filling her place at the table.

"Where's James?" Noah wants to know, and she sighs, shaking her head at Castle indicating that she'll explain later, before turning to Noah.

"James will eat later," she says, knowing that this isn't going to make Noah's compliance with dinner time any easier.

"I'll eat later too," he decides, pushing his plate away, and she sighs, looking to Castle, unable to handle this right now.

"Boys that don't clean their plates don't get dessert," he reminds Noah, who contemplates this as if he's making a big decision, before shovelling broccoli into his mouth.

She chuckles at him as Lucy starts in on a retelling of her own school day, one far less heartbreaking than James', and Castle squeezes her hand.

She turns to him, forcing a smile, and she sees concern reflect in his eyes.

"It's okay," she murmurs, only for his ears.

She doesn't know who she's reassuring.

* * *

She goes up to check on James while Castle does the dishes, and she finds him asleep in bed, cradling his ruined copy of Treasure Island.

She pries it from his hands, wincing at the state of the book.

He treats his books so well, with such reverence, and she doesn't know how to fix this.

She doesn't know how to fix any of it.

She brushes a kiss against his forehead, needing Castle to make this okay, to make her see that there's a solution, that their baby isn't going to feel like this forever.

Castle meets her in the hall, and frowns at the book in her hands, confused.

"He's asleep," she warns him, and he nods, following her downstairs.

Lucy and Noah are in their respective rooms, and she joins him on the couch with a much-needed glass of wine.

She gives the book to her husband, who grimaces at it, but waits for an explanation.

"He doesn't want to go back to school. Luke, for some reason, doesn't want to be his friend anymore, and he did this," she says, gesturing to the book, "and said…" she pauses, felling the words so much more deeply than if they'd been directed at her.

"Luke told James that he's a loser and he hates him."

She takes a deep breath, unable to erase the image of James so upset.

"He can't go back there tomorrow, Castle," she says. "You should have seen him, he was so distraught."

"Kate…"

He looks like she must – utterly heartbroken.

"I think he believes it, too, whatever they're telling him, and I don't understand how that's possible unless it's not the first time it's happened, and I don't know how we haven't realised sooner." She's rambling brokenly, and he's pulling her into his arms, when she realises that she's crying again.

"We'll get him into another school," Castle decides, and she pulls away to look at him, hesitant.

"Is running away really the answer?" She wonders, and he frowns.

"You just said he couldn't go back there," he reminds her.

"I know," she moans, taking a long sip from her glass. "I don't know what to do," she admits. "I just know that I won't make him go there tomorrow after seeing how upset he was tonight."

"We should talk to his teacher," he suggests, looking as focused as she's ever seen him.

"If this isn't the first time, why hasn't she done something before?"

"We would have known if it had happened before," he reasons.

"Would we?"

She tries to track the changes in her son's personality since he started school, but she can't decipher any glaring indicators.

He _has_ become progressively quiet, and more reserved, but she had assumed he was just growing up.

What if it has been happening all this time?

How long has her son been miserable while she was ignorant?

Is this the first occurrence or a breaking point?

He isn't free with his emotions – he likes to deal with everything on his own, and for the first time she sees the flaw that Castle must see in herself.

"I'm going to call Diane," she decides, reaching for her phone, only to be stopped by Castle's hand on her forearm.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

She frowns at him, but finds it an effort to take a deep breath, let alone calm down, and she sees his point.

She's in no mood to deal with Luke's mother, she'll probably only make it worse, but she's never felt this useless in her life.

"We need to talk to James," he says. "Find out more, whether this is just Luke being an asshole or something else."

She nods, relaxing into his arms with a sigh.

"He'll be awake in a little bit, he'll be hungry," she states. "God, you should have seen his face, Castle," she grimaces at the memory, buries her face in his shoulder in an effort to erase the image.

"He went to you," Castle says, hurt clear in his words.  
"Rick," she sighs, stroking his jawline slowly.

"He always goes to you."

She knows her husband feels insecure about James' love, simply because he doesn't love like Lucy, Noah and Alexis do.

He isn't loud with his professions; he doesn't throw them around for all to see.

She finds it makes those moments that much more special, the ones where James offers his affections so easily, but she knows it makes Castle insecure. That, coupled with the fact that James always goes to her first, because he can see that they're similar, that they handle things in similar ways. She knows that James can find it intimidating, just how big of a presence his father is, the way he fills the room with laughter and love, and while Kate almost envies the way James reveres his father, she knows it makes Castle doubt himself.

But she sees the look in James' eyes, the way he's a little bit in awe of his father.

She sits up, reaching for the tattered book.

"You know why he treasures this book so much?" She asks, holding it out for him to see.

Only her husband's first name is still transcribed on the copy, carefully written in block letters.

"Because it's yours," she says, placing the book on the coffee table. "The books that were yours, they're the ones he loves the most. The ones he takes the most pride in looking after. That's why this hurt him, and Luke would have known that," she realises, anger bubbling at the child who so carelessly took advantage of her son's kind heart.

Castle sees the shift in her emotions, and takes her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and soothing her instantly.

"Kate?" He whispers, such calm determination in his eyes. "We're going to fix this, I promise."

* * *

James emerges from his room after they tuck Lucy and Noah in, tiptoeing down the stairs so silently he wouldn't have noticed if not for Kate.

She rises, grabbing his plate from the oven where it was kept warm, and puts it on a tray.

"Will you eat with us on the couch?" She asks, and James nods wordlessly, crawling onto the couch and sitting beside him.

He smiles at his son, who seems a little amazed that he's being allowed to join what is usually mommy and daddy time, as Kate joins them with the food, holding out the cutlery and warning James that the plate is still hot.

He eats carefully, Kate brushing his hair back from his forehead, finding it disobediently sticking out again.

"James?" She questions softly, and Castle finds himself mirroring his son, looking to Kate expectantly.

"Has it happened before?" She inquires, her tone tender. "Have the other kids done things like this before?"

James shrugs, his eyes on his meal, as he pushes pieces of chicken around his plate.

"James?" He speaks, finding his voice thick with emotion. "It's okay, you can tell us."

James frowns, but opens his mouth anyway.

"Sometimes Brayden used to take my lunch money," he admits, biting his lip, and Castle's face clouds with realisation.

It was halfway through the last school year that James approached him, so serious and businesslike for an eight year old.

"_I like it better when you make my lunch, dad," _he said, returning the money he had given the boy. _"Would you mind?"_

Who was he to deny his son a simple sandwich?

From then on he dutifully packed James lunch, and every time his son retrieved his lunchbox he would smile and say thank you and Castle treasured those moments.

"He stopped eventually, but Luke…" James chews his lip, eyes still on his plate. "Luke was my friend, but he went on summer camp with Brayden and now he's Brayden's friend."

It's suddenly clear, painfully so, and Rick reaches out to squeeze James' shoulder's reassuringly.

"Luke ruined my book," he whimpers, and Castle finds James looking up at him, pleading and hurt, and his heart stutters.

"It's okay," he assures his son. "We'll get you another."

James doesn't look all that appeased, but Kate's quick to distract him.

"Do we need to speak to Mrs Bell?" She asks, and James' eyes widen.

"No. Please don't," he pleads, looking between his parents desperately. "I'll go to school tomorrow, I will."

"James, if this is a recurring problem-"

"Please. It's not. I don't want to be a snitch. I can handle it, I can."

"You shouldn't have to," Kate says, and he hears the pain in her voice.

"I can stay away from Luke and Brayden. I can find another friend," he says resolutely, his brows knitting with determination.

"James," he tries, but he recognises the look on his son's face, the one that Kate gets when she's concentrating hard, when she's thinking something through.

"Sam is nice to me. He asked me to play chess once. I don't know how, but I could learn, right?" He asks, his eyes wide with hope, and Castle nods.

"I could teach you," he offers, and James grins.

"Really?"

"Yes. I bet you'd be great."

James is standing, glancing at the clock, which reads _way past his bedtime_ and back to him, apprehensive.

"Would you teach me now?" He asks shyly, expecting to be shot down, Castle realises. He exchanges a momentary look with his wife, before standing.

"Absolutely."

* * *

He and James sit at his desk in his office, so as not to disturb Lucy and Noah, and he watches as James hangs on his every word, picking up each rule and instruction with ease.

James gets the hang of it quickly, and Castle revels in this time with his son, as Kate reads in their bedroom.

It's almost midnight when they finish up, and he looks to James, who is trying to stifle a yawn.

"If you're too tired for school tomorrow…" he starts, but James shakes his head.

"I want to see if Sam will play chess with me," he says. "He usually brings a board. But…"

"Here."

He hands the chessboard to his son, who just stares up at him, incredulous.

"I won't break it, I swear," he promises, holding the chessboard to his chest.

"I know you won't," he answers, hugging James tightly.

"I love you," he whispers, and James grins at him.

"I love you too, dad," he murmurs, still looking at the chessboard, overcome. "Thank you for teaching me how to play chess."

He marvels at his son, so courteous and simultaneously genuine.

"Anytime," he says, following him up the stairs.

* * *

Kate lies awake for hours beside him, agonising over whether letting him go to school is a good idea, and he can't fault her for it, because his mind is doing the same loop.

But James had seemed hopeful that it would be different tomorrow, and if the boy is willing to go back, he won't stop him.

The idea comes to him after Kate's eyes finally slip close, hours into the morning.

He saw the way James looked at him over the book; the guilt and fear that he'd be in trouble for something that was entirely out of his control, the concern that he would be deemed untrustworthy by his parents.

Castle wants to assure him, and he knows just how to do it.

* * *

He drops the kids at school the next morning, leaving James with a focused look on his face and a backpack weighted with his chessboard, and then sets his plan in motion.

It's no small task.

He stops by the furniture store with the measurements he took while everyone else was sleeping, and finds a bookshelf that fits the space perfectly, organising delivery for later that day.

The bookshelves that serve as a wall between his office and the living room have bothered Kate for years – ever since Alexis dropped by unannounced when they were enjoying some … childfree time.

Following that close call, he promised her that they'd do something about the transparent nature of the wall, but inevitably, it fell to the wayside in the face of other priorities.

Now, however, he has a way to kill two birds with one stone.

He carts the books up pile by pile, until the hallway between Noah and Lucy's rooms is filled with books and he's gasping for breath.

Organising them is the tough part.

He's not even nearly done when the deliverymen assemble the bookshelf in its position in James' room, and he calls Kate to see how she's fairing at work.

It's a quiet day, for which he's thankful, especially when he asks if she could possibly pick the kids up from school.

She warns him that she might have to bring paperwork home if she leaves early, but he doesn't even mind. He's an hour away from finishing, and it's going to be worth it, he's sure.

* * *

When Kate arrives home, the noise of their family audible before they even enter the loft, he descends the stairs, exhaling proudly.

Lucy heads straight for the kitchen, helping herself to a snack, and Kate instructs her to help Noah too, to which she rolls her eyes but complies, and he looks at James, at the smile on his face.

"How was your day?" He inquires, and James just grins wider.

"Sam beat me at chess," he declares, and Castle laughs with him, sharing the relief on his wife's face.

"What happened to your books?" James wonders, visibly unsettled by the disappearance of the books from his office, something that went over Lucy and Noah's heads.

Castle smiles, correct in his prediction that James would be the first to notice. While James is somehow their only child that inherited their mutual love of books, he is also hyper-observant.

"Come here," he invites, leading James and a curious Kate upstairs to James' room.

"Oh, wow."

James is awestruck, wonder painted over his face as he sees the bookshelf now lining his entire wall.

"Dad," James breathes, turning to his father, amazed.

"I want you to have them," he says, glancing at James' continuously growing collection of children's books on the opposite wall, meticulously kept.

"I organised them by age, you see," he starts, indicating to the bottom. "These are the ones you can read in a couple of years, maybe when you're a teenager, and then as you get older and taller, you can read the ones at the very top."

"Oh, dad," James is visibly overwhelmed; running his fingers over the spines of the books, making sure they're all perfectly in place. "Oh, thank you."

He grins at his son, not missing the unshed tears in his wife's eyes.

"This is the best day," James declares, surprisingly content with simply touching the books, reading the titles, yet not removing them.

Kate emits a laugh that almost sounds like a sob, and he reaches to squeeze her hand.

He glances at James, who launches himself at his father, and Castle feels Kate's hand at his back to stop him from falling backwards.

He has never received such a tight hug from his son, and he finds himself almost unable to breathe.

"Thank you," James repeats, unrelenting in his grip, and Castle finds he doesn't mind, not one bit.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Feedback is always appreciated :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"It _has_ to be a boy."

She looks across at him from her uncomfortable position on the exam table, unable to suppress a smile at just how serious he looks.

"Alexis cannot be the one to correctly guess the sex of our baby," he reiterates, holding out his phone to show her a teasing message from Alexis inquiring about her baby _sister_.

"Odds are fifty-fifty, Castle," she reminds him, and he huffs, rolling his eyes as if fifty-fifty isn't good enough for him.

"Why is she so adamant it's a girl?" He wonders, and Kate smiles, entertained by just how much this little wager is getting to him.

It wasn't supposed to be so serious. She merely asked Alexis whether she thought the baby would be a boy or a girl, knowing that she and Castle both had strong suspicions it would be the former.

But when Alexis responded confidently that it was a girl, it all got a little out of control.

Castle proposed a friendly wager, one he apparently now regrets.

She's just thankful Alexis is so excited to have a sibling.

She's well aware that most twenty-two year olds would be considerably less enthusiastic about the prospect of their father having a child with his third wife, but Alexis has been supportive from day one.

When they'd specifically planned a family dinner, sharing the news over pasta and sparkling water, Alexis had grinned, congratulating them enthusiastically before starting in on questions about the pregnancy and potential names for the baby.

Even after making an effort to forge a close relationship with her stepdaughter, Kate found herself staggered by Alexis' reaction. She'd been wary of sharing the news; concerned that Alexis would feel they were replacing her, that they wouldn't have room for her in their family with the new addition.

Kate had been hoping for mere acceptance of the news.

She hadn't expected excitement or joy or anything more than a neutral reaction.

She hadn't expected Alexis to take her shopping for maternity clothes, knowing that while Castle was all about shopping for the baby, he was less aware of the need to shop for her.

She hadn't expected her to drop by the loft every few weeks with something she _just had to buy for her baby sister_.

Every day she finds herself amazed by the daughter Castle raised largely on his own, and she feels immensely lucky to have the young woman as a stepdaughter.

If their child ends up half as impressive as Alexis Castle, she'll be a proud mother.

She already is, and for that reason, she's happy for Alexis to win this little wager.

By the look on her husband's face though, he is not.

"It's a matter of pride, Beckett," he says defensively, recognising the teasing look on her face. "That, and the consequences. Relinquishing the rights to our first child's middle name… What was I thinking? I mean, really, what if we have a daughter with a perfectly ordinary name?" He whines, and she can tell he's playing it up for her amusement.

She gives him a smile, reaching for his hand and ignoring the opening for more teasing, instead going for gravity.

"I'd be thrilled," she says, brushing her thumb against his wrist.

He smiles at her, pressing a kiss to her lips.

"I would, too," he agrees, letting the moment fade organically before he mutters.

"I'm still hoping for a boy."

* * *

If the doctor is aware of the amplified anticipation level in the room, she doesn't let on.

Castle is squeezing her hand tightly as they see their baby on the monitor, and she's so overwhelmed by the image that she almost forgets the reason for the appointment.

"Looks like you're having a girl. Congratulations," Dr Allen says, smiling, and she beams, struck by the tangible proof right before her eyes that she is going to have a daughter.

"Oh, wow, Castle."

She looks over to her husband to confirm that she's not the only one in awe, and she sees his eyes mist over.

"A girl," he smiles, captivated by the image, and she nods wildly, turning back to the screen.

They're going to have a daughter.

* * *

They don't even contemplate the ramifications of the news until they open the door to the loft and find Alexis waiting, impatient.

"Well?" She demands, her curiosity evident, and Kate cracks first, beaming at her.

"It's a girl," she confirms, and Alexis rushes to her, hugging her tightly.

"A girl. I knew it," she says, grinning. "Ha. I knew I was getting a sister."

Castle looks defeated, or is at least playing the part, until Alexis continues.

"For the name I'm thinking something classic. Common. I already have a list."

Her eyes glitter teasingly, and Castle moans.

"You sure you want another one of these, Kate?" He asks, jokingly, but Kate just wraps her arm around Alexis' shoulders.

"Sounds good to me."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: _

_Prompt: memories or wedding. _

_This was prompted as a part of my collection of prompt fills and ficlets "Snapshots", however it fits nicely into this universe so I decided to publish it here._

* * *

It's a rare quiet moment, the first for hours – or so it seems – and his eyes sweep the room as he tries to contain the nostalgia that is creeping in, the emotion a lump in his throat.

His youngest daughter is married, his baby girl, and even though he has done this before, even though he loves his newest son in law, it doesn't make it easier to curtail the overwhelming emotion of the day.

Kate has been joyful and collected all day and he wants to be too, but he can't help but wallow a little in the reminder that his kids are all grown up.

Their eldest son has his daughter on the dance floor, the girl's bare feet pressed to James's shoes as he dances her around the room, delighted giggles falling from her lips.

"Remember when that was Lucy?" Kate whispers, her chin on his shoulders, her voice in his ear.

"Yes."

Now that she's getting sentimental there's no hope for him.

He swipes at a stray tear leaking from the corner of his eye, reaches for her hand.

"She thought Alexis's wedding was one big party just for her, and now…"

"And now," he echoes, finds his youngest daughter amongst the crowd, by some miracle meets her eyes.

She grins, her mother's wide smile, such joy in her eyes that his lips lift automatically.

She's so happy, the little girl in the pretty dress at Alexis's wedding now a woman in a white dress with her husband's hand in her own.

In this fleeting moment she's shy, ducking her head at the pride that shines so bright in his eyes, so much like her mother.

But then someone demands her attention and she transforms, able to work the crowd with an effortlessness that Kate has always attributed to his genes.

"We did pretty well," he murmurs, slipping an arm around his wife's shoulders, drawing her close.

James is giving in to pleas of "more daddy, more", twirling his daughter on the dance floor; Noah is entrenched in quiet conversation with his partner, while Lucy and Jason traverse the crowd, gravitating towards them as they chat to Alexis.

Pride swells in his chest at the sight of them, and Kate's lips find his jaw, touching a kiss there.

"That we did."

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

He's at home supervising dinner when he gets the call.

Lucy's pushing her vegetables onto Noah's plate, James is calling her out on it, and Castle's just trying to get through a meal that ends with most of the food being ingested. He evens out the portions and instructs Lucy to eat her meal, grabbing his phone and answering quickly when he sees that it's Esposito.

With one single sentence the easy-going smile is wiped clean off his face.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

James is the one who picks up on his change in demeanour first, but the moment he asks, Lucy is suddenly serious, turning to him with wide eyes.

"Dad?" She wonders, and he drops the phone, hanging up on Esposito without another thought.

_Fuck_.

He grits his teeth, trying to hold back the tears that spring to his eyes, because they'll only scare the kids.

_This cannot be happening._

"I need to drop you guys off at Gram's, okay?" He says, his question not needing an answer, but it gets the usual responses anyway.

"Why?"

"Where are you going?"

"Can't we come too?"

He gets them all up, grabbing his keys and his phone and ushering them towards the door in their pyjamas, leaving their meals half-eaten at the dinner table.

"Can't we finish dinner first?" Noah wonders, chicken pieces in his hands as he follows his siblings to the door.

"No, I need…" he trails off, trying to erase the images that Espo's words have seared in his mind. "I need to go pick up your mother and you need to go stay with Gram," he decides, handing his phone to Lucy.

"Call your grandmother and see if she's able to watch you," he instructs, and Lucy pouts, her eyes calculating.

"I want to come with you."

He stops at the elevator, jamming his finger on the button four times over in an effort to make it move faster.

"Not this time, Lucy," he says, his tone so definitive that she doesn't even try to argue.

"What happened to mom?" James wants to know, and those damn tears blur his vision when he sees the distress on his son's face.

"Mom's fine, okay?" He says, trying to sound assuring. "Mom's fine."

Mom has to be fine.

…

It takes him far longer than he'd have liked to get to the hospital, but the moment he enters the lobby, Ryan is there, his distress visible.

"Where is she?" He demands, the tears he has been holding back suddenly unstoppable, even in the face of actual answers.

"She's in surgery, they didn't say much else," Ryan says, his eyes nervous. "He came out of nowhere, Castle, I swear."

He disregards Ryan's words, knowing rationally that there's no way they wouldn't have had her back, but his wife was just stabbed and he can't think straight.

He grabs the first nurse he sees, desperate for answers, and he gets pushed off to three different health care professionals before he hears from someone who was there when she was brought in.

Two stab wounds to the stomach.

She'd been talking about scaling back, about _retiring_, and now this has to happen?

All he can see is images of Johanna Beckett in that alley with stab wounds, and it's morphing into Kate and she can't die.

God, she can't die.

She's always telling him that she couldn't do this without him, parent their kids, but dammit she's more important than she ever gives herself credit for.

How the hell would they survive without a mother?

_They_ _wouldn't_.

He wouldn't.

Oh, God.

He's still a wreck when the surgeon emerges to speak with them, unable to even form words to respond.

She's stable.

_Stable_.

She's going to be okay.

He falls against Ryan, finds he's not the only one crying in relief.

…

"Hey, Castle."

She smiles for him, puts all of her energy into it, and _God_ he must look awful if she's trying this hard to reassure him.

"Kate."

He steps closer to the bed, afraid to touch her, afraid to hurt her even more, but he takes her face in his hands, presses kisses to her forehead.

"I love you," he repeats over and over, the relief making him hopeless, unable to see anything other than her.

_She's okay._

"You feel okay?" He asks, knowing all that the doctor said, but checking her for any sign of distress.

"Where are the kids?"

Her eyes flit to the door, equally hopeful and afraid of them seeing her like this, but he shakes his head.

"They're with my mother. I didn't know…"

_Fuck_.

He didn't know if he'd be bringing them to find out…

"Can you ask her to bring them here?" She asks, tears in her eyes for the first time since he entered the room.

"Yes. Yes, I'll call her," he assures her, sees her whole body deflate with relief.

"Thank you."

"You scared the hell out of me, Kate," he murmurs, pulling a chair to her bedside and taking her hand.

"I'm sorry."

She's crying silently now, turning her head away from him as if he won't notice.

"Hey," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her hand. "It's not your fault."

She sniffles, nodding. "I just want to see my kids," she mumbles, and he pulls his phone out of his pocket, her hand still in his.

"Three kiddos coming right up."

…

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